The feeling is bittersweet. Leaving a place I have grown so accustomed to. The waking up at 7am, sharing a room with 8 other girls, the food, the daily reflections every night, the children, the people, the bathroom, the laughter, the memories; it was a life the past few weeks. The feeling is bittersweet.
On the last day of our adventure we gathered in a circle for the last time in a church we have all grown accustomed to and were asked a simple question by one of the kindest men I have ever met. “What will you take back with you to America?” The question was simple yet it led my mind racing. What did I learn? What will I take back? Have I gained anything from this experience?
Just a week ago I would have said nothing, due to the constant rain and having to sit all day doing almost nothing but now it was different. Life in the city never stopped and we almost always had something to do. As I pondered the question I quietly listened to my peers and what they have gained; then it became clear. Another light bulb moment.
I learned that life is full of moments, moments that we will never have again and in order to enjoy life we must be present during those moments. I had to learn to leave my American life behind and focus on the current world around me, focus on the people around me, and focus on how I was interacting with everything around me. This trip was a once in a life-time experience for me and I will never see those kind faces, vibrant personalities, or amazing smiles again. I couldn’t afford to have my body present while my mind wandered, or else I wouldn’t have gotten the full experience. Even though there were some tough days I enjoyed myself, learned more about myself and was able to make someone else’s life just a little better.
I also learned that we should never stop giving, not just material things but of ourselves. We could always help out someone else in need whether it giving up a few old clothes or giving up a few hours of your day, volunteerism is a never-ending process. I noticed that especially this past week that even when you think your work is done, there is so much more that could be done. Which makes my departure bittersweet. Yes, I am proud of the work I have done and the lives I have touched but these people need so much more that I cannot give to them, personally.
On the last day of being with my host family I wished that I was a wealthy billionaire that could give them everything they needed because they were just that kind, open and loving towards me. No one deserves to live the way some of those people do and it was heartbreaking to see how bad things can happen to good people. Being in that situation made me appreciate everything I have and life itself. These people were so content with their lives, so happy and at peace while us, Americans, were worried about how they didn’t have internet. I thought they were perfectly fine and that they were surviving just fine on their own without those distractions, while a few begged to differ. Not having internet didn’t bother them and not having much contact with the outside world really pushed me to be present in those moments, and afterwards it became much easier for me to block out other distractions from my other life when I needed to.
That was my life and I will miss it but I will also make sure that I keep trying to help them as much as I can. My work doesn’t stop once I step foot on the plane, I’m only half way done. These people, my memories, the connections I made will also stay with me and if there is one thing I want everyone to take away from this is that we must live by the day, the hour, the minute, the moments because they will never be repeated.
Simone, 17, Cesar Chavez Public Charter Schools for Public Policy
One thought on “Paraguay 2014, Day 17 – Bittersweet Moments”
I enjoyed reading this post and especially your conclusion. I live in Paraguay and I once served as a Peace Corps volunteer here. I love the campo and its timeless ways. As you said, our moments will never be repeated.